Derailed

Two weeks ago, my family and I went on a long-awaited trip to Disney World. This trip was really a big deal. We had scheduled the trip for nearly a year ago, but had to postpone it when Grant’s tumor was discovered. His tumor was found on a Monday; we were to have departed for Florida that Friday. So once Grant finished chemo and was doing well, we decided to make the trip.

We went to the happiest place on earth along with nine other family members and played hard. We rode the rides, watched the parade, enjoyed some treats, met some characters, danced on Main Street USA and got wet on Splash Mountain – and that was just one day of the trip!

In spite of the fun we had, it has taken me two weeks to recover from this trip! I realize that vacation tends to throw one off-kilter in terms of the normal cadence of their routine, but this was a bit extreme. When we returned from FL and perhaps before we even departed, I felt incredibly imbalanced, anxious and out of sorts. I felt this imbalance physically, emotionally and spiritually. My train of balance and centering had truly derailed.

While on the trip, I thought I was doing a good job of keeping some of this balance intact; I was doing daily yoga and making mostly healthy choices when dining. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to keep me chugging along in my happy zone. Too much food (although mostly healthy), too much wine, too much caffeine, too much stimulation (not enough downtime or introspection) and a complete disruption to my circadian rhythm all led to the derailment.

I’ve taken lots of trips before and played similarly or even harder, but hadn’t experienced quite this significant of a derailment. What changed? What was different this time?

Perhaps it was due to my aging self. I fully recognize I am not 29 anymore…nor do I care to go back to that age. I like myself and my life better now than I did then. I am continuously creating the life I want to live.

Perhaps it was due to the fact that I’m healthier now than ever before and this deviation from the norm created a more acute recognition of the changes?

Perhaps it was just clear feedback from my body, mind and spirit saying “I don’t like what you’re doing to me! This isn’t good for any of us. Stop!!”

All in all, this derailment has reinforced to me the delicate balance between my mind, body and spirit. While I do have room and flexibility to push or stretch in these areas at times, I clearly pushed too hard and too far while on vacation. This experience has also shown me once again how intertwined these three parts of myself are. If one is out of balance, the others easily and soon follow.

Now that I’m back chugging along in the land of Homeostasis, I am grateful that my mind, body and spirit communicated the imbalance. Next time, I’ll be more mindful of the potential impact of my activities and actions (or lack thereof).

When you look at your own train of life, what needs adjustment to keep you on track? To what degree is your train chugging along toward Homeostasis?

Tigger and Tracy

Recently I was encouraged to bring more of my “inner Tigger” to my life. Yes, I’m talking about that lovable, playful, sometimes annoying, bouncy friend of Pooh. Curious about what that might look like; I decided to explore it here related to three elements that call me forward – leadership, balance and inspiration.

So join me on this wonderful, magical exploration…

The first question that came to mind is: how would Tigger lead? Tigger would joyfully engage his friends on some type of adventure – one that brings out the best in everyone. The Hundred Acre Wood would forever be changed. He would lead with a smile on his face and bouncing the entire way, but with compassion and care for his friends.

How would Tigger inspire? His own lust for a playful life would spread like wildfire. That energy would spill from one person to the next. What would Tigger do to inspire his friends and others? His energy would be a visible and audible invitation for others to join him in his play.

And how would Tigger stay balanced? Tiggers require great physical prowess to be able to bounce and playfully pounce. Without Tigger’s attention to physical strength, he would lose these trademark abilities. He likely takes lots of catnaps too.

So if I adopted Tigger’s approach on these three elements, what might they look like in my life?

As a leader, it sounds like I need some type of a fabulous adventure! Or maybe it’s just shifting the way I see my current life. I’ve recently started coaching multiple clients and I’m really enjoying it. I feel like I’m on a fabulous adventure with each of them, supporting each as they are creating their ideal life. Fun is definitely present here; maybe I just need to pull it out a bit more. Not only is the journey with my clients a fabulous adventure, I need to remind myself that the life I’m creating for myself is too! A delicious journey for all!

On the balance front, I’m doing pretty well although my pendulum does swing between the two sides. I’m doing daily yoga and run every other day. What more might I do to gain more physical balance? Get more sleep, kick the sugar habit (or at least move past the temporary sweet tooth), and get back on track with more fresh fruits. Maybe I need to take more cat naps. That’s what Tigger would do.

And finally, how might I bring out the inner Tigger more from an inspirational side? I’d embrace my own lust for life and joy in whatever adventure might be in front of me. I’d let go of my worry and replace it with curiosity and wide-eyed wonder. The inspiration that results will come from authentic actions and not from a forced message.


I’m inviting these Tiggerish facets of living into my day-to-day. I shared with my husband yesterday that I’d like to do as such. I confessed to him that perhaps I’ve taken my job and myself too seriously in the past. He nearly drove off the road with laughter. This declaration was clearly NOT a news flash to him.

So what might happen if you released the inner Tigger in you? What facets in your life are calling for Tigger’s playful guidance? Perhaps it’s time to schedule a play date with your inner Tigger today!

Ouch!

I just hurt my freaking back doing yoga. I was doing a shoulder stand and thought I was actually doing it right for the first time. But then, I felt it. An emerging kink between my shoulder blades. The next pose was fish pose.

"Ahhhh," I thought. "This will loosen that kink that just worked its way into my back. I just need to tilt my head...a bit....more...YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Instead of feeling a loosening sensation, I felt a slow searing pain replace the kink that was housed in my upper back just moments before. Not quite the solution I was looking for.

Just last night I was reading about the gentleness of yoga -- how it isn't competition, it is not a race, etc. Instead, it is a means to find balance between the mind, body and spirit. Plus, it is a gentle way to relax while building muscle strength and flexibility. Ooops. I clearly forgot the reading from last night.

So what was going on with me that caused me to push myself too far in not only one pose, but two? Why had I forsaken one of the primary tenets of yoga?

Hmmmm...well, Blake did get up early (waaaay to early) and was playing the role of spectator while I finished my practice. Could I have been showing off for him? "Hey! Look at what your old mom can do?" Perhaps.

Could I have felt invaded by those perfection police who often visit my spirit and responded to their pressure to "Push it! You're not doing it far enough!"? Perhaps.

Or could it have been my impatience screaming at me to "Get more from what you're doing! We want more results faster!" Perhaps.

The cause of my injury could have been each or all of these possibilities. Regardless of my motivation to push it beyond my own edge, I recognize that I clearly went over it -- my neck and shoulders feel like hell.

So where in life do we draw the line between gently approaching the edge and jumping straight off it with a courageous "Yeeee-haaaaaaaaaw!!!!)? This I do not know -- but I'd love to hear your thoughts about how you discern when it's time to approach the edge gently and when it is time to get a running start and leap from it.

Now, where's the Tylenol?

Damn Bugs!

Yesterday I went for what I intended to be a walk. The weather was beautiful, but my legs didn't feel up to a run. A part of me was screaming to run, but I overruled myself and decided a hefty walk was just as good.

I got dressed for my outing -- complete with my visor, watch with lap counter (which I still haven't figured out how to work), running shoes and sunscreen slathered on my face, ears, neck and arms. I started walking and settled into a nice cadence as I passed my "start running HERE" point on my route. I acknowledged the pull to run, but once again politely said, "No thank you."

Within about 50 yards, I encountered a small swarm (is there such a thing?) of little black flying bugs. They were smaller than a fly, but larger than a gnat or fruit-fly -- the perfect size to be completely annoying. The little insects buzzed in my ear, clamored against my face and even flew towards my hands. I swatted at them left and right, attempting to dismiss them from their annoying routine. After noticing the areas to which these nuisances were drawn, I realized they were attracted to my sunscreen.

This battle continued for another 50 yards. By then, I was no longer irritated. I was getting downright pissed at these flying pains in the ass! Twenty-five more yards of swatting unsuccessfully.

"Enough!" I cried in defeat. I realized I had only once choice to rid myself of these pests. I had to run. So, I started running.

Within seconds, the flying nuisances were removed from my personal space. I kept running for extra measure -- just to be sure they weren't trailing me.

No sign of the bugs.

Thirty seconds later, still no bugs, but I decided to keep running. I really wanted these things left behind.

Two minutes later, I concluded the bugs were behind me and were not likely to return. Still, I kept running.

By then, my cadence had fully shifted from a walk to a bug-fleeing pace and I was feeling pretty good. Slowing down now felt like taking a step backwards. I decided to keep going.

By the time the run was over, I'd traveled my intended route plus another mile, my endorphins were rushing through my body and I felt great. In fact, my legs felt strong, healthy and supple.

While those bugs could have stopped me from getting any exercise at all, they actually propelled me into the action my body, mind, and spirit needed. I damned them throughout the early part of my route; I now thank them for being the catalysts for my run.

What's bugging you in your life? How might it serve as a catalyst for what your body, mind and spirit need?

3...2...1...

Wow. I've nearly catapulted from one side of the busy-ness spectrum to the other. I had so much spaciousness while on leave of absence, I was often bored. Now I'm going full speed towards a tremendous amount of structure. Not only have I returned to full time employment (which really isn't that busy yet, but soon will be), I've also taken the leadership role for my boys' school's parents' organization AND I've decided to embark on a six month journey of education towards being a professional coach (which involves one weekend each month). All of this has frankly made me a bit, well, stressed!

You know, when I just wrote that scope of my structure, it didn't feel that big. And these are all things I have chosen to do. Plus, I'm excited about them. Perhaps the stress is just the shock or resulting emotions after moving from one end of the spectrum so far to the other. Maybe it's like the rush an astronaut feels when the space shuttle goes full thrust into the atmosphere. I imagine the G-force experienced initially is an incredibly intense amount of pressure as the shuttle's engines fight against the Earth's gravitational pull. But when the shuttle moves further away from Earth, the effects of gravity lessen and the shuttle seems to coast more gently as it leaves behind the atmosphere and makes its transition to outer space. At least that's what it looks like in the movies...

Maybe that is somewhat like my experience (or anyone's experience) during change or transition. At the beginning, there's great resistance to leave the status quo. But once we get moving, the transition into the great beyond eases in difficulty and becomes a peaceful glide. Perhaps I'm in the midst of heading out of the atmosphere now...

Perspective

In Disney's movie Ratatouille a food critic named Ego requests some "....fresh perspective..." as his dining option when visiting a restaurant where (unbeknownst to him) the head chef happens to be a rat. The shocked waiter fumbles for an appropriate response to such an odd request. Finally, Ego says the chef should "hit me with his best shot." The scene's words, Ego's intonation and the image leave an imprint on the brain.

(WARNING: movie spoiler ahead) As it turns out, Ego receives exactly what he requested -- fresh perspective as the surprising little chef gives him the meal of his life. Upon recognition of the creator of such a divine meal, Ego is forever changed. Funny how something as simple as "perspective" can rock our world in such a profound way.

This happened to me yesterday admist the adminstrative stress of returning to my full time employment. This return is part of my "pushing off the river bank plan" on which I fully departed yesterday.

Not long after the innertube started moving, I got fussy....really fussy. I wasn't happy with the inner tube (my "job" or lack thereof), the direction it was taking (who the hell knows), nor the speed at which it was traveling (slower than my 4 year old trying to get dressed on a school day). It all pretty much sucked.

But in talking with one of my friends/advisors/gurus (she's all of these things), I started seeing my role, my direction and my speed of progress as just fine. In fact, I saw how they each were contributing in a significant way to one of my key stops down stream. That small shift in perspective helped me see the great value and have great appreciation for the tube, the direction and the speed.

Nearly all of these blog entires describe some slight shift in perspective and the power behind them. Author Stephen Covey calls it "changing your see" or "changing your paradigm." He notes in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People that after his paradigm shifted on one occasion, "...I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently."

Where in your life are you being called to alter your perspective? What gifts and power might unfold for you by changing your perspective ever so slightly?

Assumptions

You've likely heard what happens when you assume -- it makes an "ass" out of "u" and an ass out of "me." I just had an assumption of mine revealed before my very eyes. And true to form, it made me look like an ass to none other than my own very self by keeping me stuck on the river bank rather than excitedly engaging in the flow.

So what happened? Well, I assumed my husband would not be supportive of me embarking on some learning opportunities -- opportunities that are expensive in both time and money. I kept wanting to discuss these with him, but the right timing never seemed to materialize.

Then yesterday, Roger asked me about a date in October and whether we had any plans. I realized that was the same weekend as one of the opportunities. Now is the time, Tracy...

I told him about my interest in the training and desire to go. No long after that, Roger inquired, "What's stopping you from signing up?"

Wow. I wasn't expecting that question from him. Door number two just appeared. I described to him my interest in the three separate and increasingly expensive opportunities. He suggested doing two of them this year and the third in the following year.

!!!!!!!!!! (that's my assumption being shattered)

I suddenly felt a woooooosh of movement as my inner tube left the river bank.

This situation revealed a lot to me. First, the power of the story in my mind. Life Coach extraordinaire Martha Beck talks in Finding Your Own North Star about the narrator in our minds. She notes that "we all walk around, day in and day out, telling ourselves the stories of our lives...The information we choose to include or excludes determines whether we see our lives as comedy, tragedy, romance or action-adventure." Clearly, my assumptions and the corresponding power of my own narrator kept me stuck on the river bank.

Second, I recognized just how deeply I wanted Roger's permission. I've been in such a financially dependent mode since I went on leave of absence. My return to work date is later this month and I'm recognizing yet another gift unfolding via my return.

While talking with my dear friend Sharon last night, she noted how important it is for us to live our lives and invite our husbands/partners/significant others to join us. Waiting for them to give us permission or agree to accompany us only keeps us all stuck. I do believe in partnership with a spouse, but I also believe in the criticality of living one's own path. Khalil Gibran wrote in The Prophet: on Marriage "...let there be space in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you...and stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, not in each other's shadow."

So what assumptions or stories are you playing in your head? How much are they holding you back? For me, I'm finally pushing off from the river bank. See ya downstream!